


Attitude to Life

by shadowlancer_95



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Guardians of the Galaxy - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Because fuck canon, Ego is a bastard, Everyone cares about Peter, Fix-It, Gen, Hurt Peter, Hurt/Comfort, Papa!Yondu, Team as Family, Vol. 2 Spoilers, Yondu is the best dad, to some extent
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-02
Updated: 2017-06-02
Packaged: 2018-10-26 21:37:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10795242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadowlancer_95/pseuds/shadowlancer_95
Summary: Energy drains are dangerous things, Peter doesn't realize that.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys, I should really be working on my other stories, but I'll just say that I lost motivation to write in the Marvel fandom awhile back, because I got dragged into other fandoms. 
> 
> So despite it being exam week, I went ahead to watch Guardians because I know it's the push I need to get me back into the Marvel fandom. Of course, I wasn't expecting the feels from this movie and this just wouldn't let me go until I wrote it. 
> 
> That being said, first of SPOILERS FOR GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL 2! Dont read if you haven't watched it yet or you mind spoilers!! 
> 
>  
> 
> This came about because I just wanted to address the fact that (to those who've watched it) the energy drain that Ego does seems to put Peter in a lot of pain, but he doesn't really show that afterwards and just gets up and be on his merry way. So this was supposed to be a fill in for that scene, and it got longer. 
> 
>  
> 
> Anyway, standard disclaimers apply, I don't own Marvel because otherwise, I sure as hell won't allow certain things to happen.

The tiny niggling voice at the back of his head was silenced the moment Ego - no, his father - presented to him the universe. A part of Peter remembered Gamora telling him that something was up with this planet, but the memory was foggy, as if dredged up from the remnants of a dream. He shook it off back then, covering the hurt her words caused with his own barbs, trying - and failing - to understand why she would want him to leave when she'd been the one to insist that he come with the man who claimed to be his father in the first place. Confusion reared its head with her parting words, that he'd already found his family, and he tried to digest what she meant by that, but somehow, his mind - clear as day - couldn't grasp onto her meaning. He felt his worries melt away, negativity draining out of him almost instantly at the sight of his father stepping through the doorway, reciting the lyrics to the song he had been playing. 

He followed the man when he beckoned - excitement thrumming in each and every of his step - to the main hall where the statue of his dad and his mum still remained. He turned slowly, drinking in the sight of the elaborate hall, wondering vaguely if he could ever create such a monument like his dad had done. As if reading his thoughts, the man chuckled and said, "One day, this will be all yours to play with."

He grinned, "So I can create whatever I want?"

The older man shrugged and smirked, "Well, after a couple hundred million years maybe, but yes, you'd be able to hold the universe in your hand, and mold it to what you wish it to look like."

Peter just breathed out in awe, murmuring under his breath something about creating weird shapes, and his father took that as his cue to start retelling his story. The words filtered in and out of his brain, Peter not really attention to what his father was saying, more focused on the expansive galaxies that stretched before his eyes, the stars and planets all his to play with. He would have continued that way, drunk on the power within him, if his father hadn't mentioned the one thing that managed to distract him.

Immortality. 

He frowned, turning slightly away from the sight of the universe, asking hesitantly, "What about my friends?"

His father's answer had been flippant, uncaring, and a part of him raged and rebelled against the very notion of abandoning his friends - family - but the rest of him was content with the answer and turned back to the ever changing galaxies before him.

".... was a pity that I had to put that brain tumor in her head."

_What?_

That line washed over him like a bucket of ice cold water, and Peter turned completely, facing the general direction where he knew his father stood despite the images of space still clouding his eyes. "What did you say?" He whispered, his mind fighting against the hallucinations.

He watched as the images slowly faded, as his father shrugged and waved his hands around, a genial smile on his face as he explained how he loved and killed Meredith Quill in a single breath.

Rage settled in like a warm blanket in the middle of winter, and Peter's mind snapped back into clarity, the awe-tinged memories washing away completely.

Glaring at the man that stood before him, he snarled and fired his blasters before he was even conscious of the action, hole after hole appearing in Ego's body.

It didn't help that Ego - missing parts of his body and face - just sighed as though dealing with a petulant child. "Now why did you have to go and do that?"

No words could describe the white hot ire that gripped his heart and wound its claws around his throats but Peter still managed to hiss, pushing the tears back, "You _killed_ my _mother_."

An animalistic snarl tore itself from his throats as he launched himself at the man who dared to call himself his father. A choked scream lodged itself in his throats when Ego slammed him into the ground, pain radiating up his side. Peter ignored the pain and sprung up, charging straight at the being that was his sperm donor. He threw a right hook, Ego catching his fist and twisting it. Pain shot up his arm but Peter brought up his left hand, shooting his father in his face. The Celestial stumbled back in shock and Peter pressed on the opening given to him, firing several more blasts into the man's face, rage and anger spurring him on.

" _Enough_!" Ego roared, thrusting his hand out. A wave of power hit Peter in the chest, throwing him backwards into a pillar, the structure cracking slightly as he slid to the marble-like floor.

"The only one of my offspring to carry the Celestial gene," Ego began softly, stalking closer to Peter's prone form, "and you choose to refuse the power that is your birthright? The power that _I_ have given you?"

Peter brought his head up, shifting his hands underneath him as he glared up at Ego, "You _killed_ my mother." He spat.

Ego just shook his head and smiled, "Never mind, you will still serve your purpose as my son, and I will help you merge with the Light."

Peter sneered, pushing himself up onto his knees, "Fuck you, you son of a bitch, I won't forgive you - "

Whatever he planned to say died in his mouth as something punched straight through him. Peter choked, hands twitching at his side, coming up to claw at his chest. He looked down, eyes widening slightly at the luminescent blade protruding from his chest. He heard Ego say something, but any words he could hear were torn away from his consciousness when the blade flashed, and then all he could feel was just _painpainpainpainpain_ -

He screamed, feeling as though his insides were being ripped apart. It was too much, the light was pulling him apart, dragging his insides for a ride -

The pain lessened considerably and Peter gasped for air, realizing belatedly that he was suspended in midair. He watched through hooded eyes as Ego approached him, too tired to do anything but hang from the glorified fishhook. He couldn't even lift a finger when Ego detached the Walkman from his belt, couldn't muster up the energy to do more than rage internally as Ego crushed the only thing left of his mother. A lone tear slipped from his eye as Ego dropped the crushed pieces of the music box that had been with him for the past twenty six years. Peter couldn't even scream as the pain ripped through him with twice the intensity, his vision whiting out as his energy was sapped from him.

The pain was his only constant for what felt like eternity, until it suddenly disappeared. The luminescent blade vanished as well, and with it gone, Peter fell to the ground. The smack of bone on the cold hard floor was nothing compared to the agony he had just experienced, and Peter tried to fight the darkness that threatened to take over, willing his body to move.

He felt someone slip their hands under his armpits and dragged him away. Sluggishly, his mind registered the sounds of falling debris and plasma cannons being discharged over and over again. Another pair of arms grabbed him around the chest and heaved him up, his head smacking onto metal.

Peter coughed, pressing his forehead to the cold metal as he drew in a ragged breath. He opened his eyes, forcing himself to focus on the jagged patterns on the Ravager ship, ignoring the dots that covered his vision. He dragged himself upright, his mouth automatically twisting into a grin at the sight of his family. Peter took in the scene before him and acted accordingly, using the pain to sharpen his mind. He quickly made for the pilot seat, shoving aside his surprise at both Yondu's presence and the new fin on his head. He all but collapsed into the seat, but forced his aching body to remain upright. He didn't want his team, or Yondu to see his weakness.

"We need to get out of here and destroy his core!" Peter shouted, hands flying over the ship's console as he settled into a familiar routine with Yondu piloting beside him.

"I told you something was weird." Gamora snapped back, standing behind his seat almost protectively.

Peter threw her a dirty look, "Now is _not_ the time for 'I told you so's'."

He threw himself straight into piloting the ship, and with Rocket's lasers, they managed to break through the layers of the planet and shot out into a huge cavern, a bright ball of light suspended on all sides in the middle.

"There!" Peter pointed out unnecessarily, both he and Yondu angling the ship toward Ego's core.

* * *

Everything was a blur after the Sovereign army ruined their chance at taking out Ego before he came down. Peter remembered running around asking for tape, and he remembered fending off the Sovereign army's drones, twisting in between their ships to take out the engines. Soon enough, Yondu and Nebula managed to destroy most of the Sovereign fleet, and all that was left were the stragglers.

Of course, that's where everything went wrong.

First, Mantis was knocked out by a piece of falling debris. (The way Drax lunged forward desperately to catch her shocked him)

Second, Ego woke with a vengeance, roaring at them with his full power.

Third, the shockwave that hit them threw Gamora off the rock they were standing on, and Peter could do nothing but watch desperately as she fell backwards.

Rage built up within him again at the sight of his so called _father_ toying with his friends. He slapped one of Rocket's jet pack onto Drax's back, propelling the guy upwards just in time to avoid Ego's rock and light whip that crashed down on all of them. He saw Nebula leap after Gamora, and while a part of him still remembered her role by Ronan's side, a small part of his brain realized that in the short time he'd seen the two of them in the same room on Yondu's ship, they had seemed much more amiable with each other.

He couldn't afford to get distracted then, now that there were only three of them left. They had to distract Ego as far as possible and hope that Groot didn't press the wrong button.

The three of them - him, Yondu and Rocket - danced around Ego's weird tentacle-like limbs, trying their best to stay out of his way. Ego was yelling at him again, throwing out stories about partnership and family and the universe and all Peter could feel was a steady thrum of disgust - both aimed at the creature in front of him and at himself for believing those lies.

"How long do we have?" Peter yelled over his shoulder at Rocket, dodging a light filled rock structure that threatened to crush him.

"If Groot doesn't screw us all over," the raccoon replied, snarling in between shots, "Six minutes!"

Peter cursed, flipping backwards midair and firing two consecutive shots at the rocks, crushing it into fine dust. That was barely enough time to get to the surface. He chanced a glance at Yondu, relief settling in his chest as the blue man weaved in and out of the tentacles his arrow a red streak clashing brightly with the white light of Ego's power.

A tremor in the earth made Yondu stumble, and that was all the opening Ego need to snatch the Ravager up.

He grinned up at Peter, who still hadn't noticed the changing tides of battle, too caught up in trying to stay alive. "Are you sure you want to continue?" Ego shouted, his voice - amplified by his power - carrying easily over the noise of battle.

Peter's head snapped around, his eyes growing wide with horror as Yondu tried and failed to get out of Ego's grasp, his yakka arrow snapped in two. A quick glance back at Ego had him searching for Rocket, his heart sinking in despair as several rock-tentacles converged on his friend at once.

The split second of hesitation was enough for Ego to make his move.

Quick as lightning, a tendril of light wound itself around Peter's ankle and yanked him down. From the height he had been hovering at, Peter slammed face first into the ground, cracks forming from the impact. He opened his mouth in silent agony as fire lanced up his chest, the air completely sucked out of his lungs. He propped himself up on his left arm, the right curling protectively over his chest, a sense of deja vu washing over him. The darkness nearly overtook his vision again, and he clawed his way back to awareness - _he couldn't black out now, not when his friends could be_ dead _-_

He was looking down this time, so he saw it clear as day when Ego decided to rip a hole in his chest once again. Peter coughed and braced himself for the pain. His body jerked as the blade pulsed, pulling his energy away from him again. He didn't think he had any energy left in him to do more than grunt, but his body proved him wrong when a scream erupted from his throat. He howled in agony, the pain was a thousand times worse than what he had experienced before. It was like holding the infinity stone in his palm once again, except this time he could feel his insides being torn apart atom by atom, his life force being sucked away from his body. His arms were thrust to the side in a grotesque parody of a crucifixion, beams of light stabbed through his arms and legs. More tendrils attached to his head in an almost tender manner, if it weren't for the blinding pain that shot through his brain. Peter screamed and screamed and _screamed_ until he knew nothing except whiteness and pain.

"Ah don't use my mind to guide mah arrow boy! Ah use mah heart!"

Peter's eyes snapped open.

He didn't know how the hell he managed to hear those words over the roar in his ears, but he turned his head to where he last saw Yondu. Peter couldn't help the sudden lurch in his heart as the man who raised him disappeared under a pile of rubble.

Right there and then, Peter realized, for the first time in his life, that he _did_ have a dad. He'd just been searching in all the wrong places.

Memories sprung up in his mind; of him and Rocket flying through the air together, wobbling slightly as they tested out the rodent's new tech; of Drax and him in a bar, the former jugging down a large pint of alcohol; of him sharing his music with Gamora, watching her eyes light up in confusion and delight at the unique melodies; of Yondu teaching him how to shoot for the first time, positioning his arm correctly and bracing his thin shoulders against the recoil. Peter felt the last visages of Ego's magic unhook itself from his brain.

The Guardian gritted his teeth and pushed back against the pain, gathering strength from the memories of his friends and family. He reached deep within himself, to that connection that Ego had shown him the day before. He reached down and grabbed the power, inhaling sharply as the pain disappeared all at once, leaving him unbalanced. He flicked his eyes toward Ego, watching realization dawn on the man just as he retaliated with his own blast of power. Peter lunged forward and knocked straight into Ego's abdomen, crashing him straight into a rock wall.

* * *

The fight after that was a blur. Even at full strength, he knew that he couldn't win against a Celestial, and he was already running on fumes, the two-time energy drain had taken practically everything. Coupled with broken ribs, and bruises everywhere else, Peter was giving it everything he got and hoping he wouldn't die. A hysterical laugh bubbled in his chest as he formed a huge PAC-Man from yellow rocks, the adrenaline roaring so hard in his ears that he couldn't feel his limbs any longer. Objectively, he knew that numbness was a bad thing, but at this point of time, he couldn't care less because numbness was so much better than the excruciating pain. They took turns slamming each other into rock walls, and each time, Peter felt his back tingle before the pain faded away. He watched as color quickly drained out of Ego, the old man looking like his age as his power failed to replenish itself. The last bout had sent both of them crashing into a rock that somehow managed to survive the destruction, and Peter gripped onto Ego's shoulders, part restraining the man and part holding himself up.

"You can't do this," the Celestial pleaded, if you kill me, you'll be just like the rest of them."

Peter just looked into the being's eyes and replied softly, pity replacing disgust, "What's so wrong about that?"

The bomb exploded then, and Ego crumbled into dust in Peter's hands.

Peter breathed out heavily, his chest twinging slightly at the motion. He swayed a little on his knees, falling back to sit on his legs. The Guardian looked around, seeing pillars of flame erupt from the core of the planet, rocks crumbling and folding in on themselves as their power source disappeared. His lips twitched into a small smile, if this was how he was going to go - it was pretty okay. He was just glad that his friends had gotten out. If anything, Peter was ultimately a selfish man, and he would sacrifice the world in a heartbeat if it meant that he'd keep his friends safe. The sight in front of him wavered, splitting into two for several moments before becoming one again. He felt the rock beneath his knees tremble and crack, and he smiled, knowing that he'd be buried along with it.

A force slammed into his side, igniting a new wave of pain in his chest that left him breathless and gasping for air. White spots exploded in his vision, and Peter panicked for a moment, thinking that they (he) had failed and that Ego had somehow survived the bomb -

He caught sight of blue and red.

Blinking harshly to clear the spots from his vision, Peter stared straight into the warm crimson eyes that had been his companion for the last twenty six years. He felt a warm arm wrapped tightly around his waist, and realized his own arm was gripping tightly onto the other man's jacket.

"He may 'av been yer father, but he sure as hell weren't yer daddy." Yondu said, giving his charge a tiny, nearly imperceptible smile.

Peter's throat closed up, feeling as though he had swallowed an entire rock. He knew, he _knew_ that Ego wasn't his father the moment the man confessed to killing his mother. But for a whole day, he had the perfect father that he'd been searching for his whole life - and to know that it'd all been a lie...

Yondu raised his left arm, a circular disc held in it. He made to place it on Peter's chest but the Guardian stopped him.

"What are you doing?" Peter frowned, trying to shake off the darkness that was slowly encroaching on him.

Yondu gave him an indecipherable look, "We're going to space boy, ya ain't gonna survive it wit'out a suit."

Peter stared at him uncomprehendingly as they continued to head upwards.

"No." Peter said, horror breaching his mind, "No you don't get to do this. You don't get to play the hero - that's _my_ job not yours!"

"There's only one space suit and there's two of us!" Yondu snarled back, "Ya said it boy, ya're the hero, _I_ ain't do anything right in my life boy -"

Peter hissed, stubbornly keeping himself awake because if he didn't Yondu would do something stupid like give him the damn space suit and sacrifice himself and he couldn't let that happen because he'd _just_ found his _dad_ and he wasn't going to let him go just like that -

"I have a fucking mask that lets me breathe in space you doofus!"

Yondu blinked.

"Yer mask was destroyed no?"

Peter shook his head, he snatched the circular disc from Yondu's hand before the man could react and slapped it on the blue man's chest, activating the bubble suit. He ignored Yondu's growl and lifted a hand to his ear, praying fervently that his mask was indeed intact. He pressed the button, allowing the familiar metal to fold over his face and breathed a sigh of relief. The mask's HUD was slightly damaged but the mask itself was still intact. He aimed a quirky smile at Yondu even though he knew the man couldn't see it. Even so, the Centaurian smacked his shoulder with his left arm, relief clearly tangible in his face.

The two of them breached the planet's upper atmosphere and turned back to watch the planet crumble and fold on in itself, disintegrating into dust and atoms. They flew for a while more before the engines of the jetpack sputtered and died out, leaving them floating in space.

Peter didn't know if the darkness in his vision was because of space or because of his injuries, but he jerked as a hollow tap resounded on his mask, realizing he'd been spacing out. He tilted his head questioningly at Yondu, glad for the one directional style of his mask. The Centaurian was giving him a measured look, the worry in his eyes clear as day. Peter shook his head, "I'm fine. Where're the others?"

Yondu shrugged, "Ah told 'em to get off planet, with any sense they'd be long gone."

Peter laughed, then winced as it jostled his ribs, "Good thing they don't have much sense then."

A bright orange light washed over them from the back, Yondu tightening his grip on Peter when he felt the younger man flinch. They both turned and saw the enormous craft, grinning with relief at the sight of the Guardians and Kraglin at the cockpit. The beam of light captured them and drew them slowly into the safe confines of the ship.

As soon as the hangar door closed behind them, the two of them removed their suit and mask, breathing deeply. They turned to face the crew who had come rushing down to meet them, Yondu grinning at Rocket's visible relief before the raccoon covered it up with anger and leapt to punch the Ravager in the face. Kraglin had no such problems and instead strode forward to pull his Captain into a hug, his eyes suspiciously wet.

Drax rushed forward first, engulfing Peter in a huge bear hug that squeezed his ribs in the wrong manner. Peter gasped and patted the giant man's back, forcing a grin out, wheezing, "Breathing matters buddy."

Drax dropped him and held his shoulders, proclaiming solemnly, "It is good to see you Quill."

Peter's smile softened into something more genuine, and he patted Drax's arm again, peering over the bigger man's shoulder to grin tiredly at Gamora. Said green assassin had a look on her face that said she didn't know whether to be angry or relieved. She settled on the latter emotion and strode forward, punching him in the shoulder. _Hard_.

Peter hissed slightly and she drew back, worry flashing across her face. He waved her off, looking around. He meant to tell them that they needed to move, to get out of this godforsaken quadrant of space.

Instead, what came out was a choked moan as the pain that had been blessedly ignored came rushing back in full force. He listed dangerously, the roaring in his ears drowning out the worried cries of his friends. Peter coughed wetly and felt his knees give out, the floor rushing up to meet him. The darkness claimed him even before he hit the ground.

_"Peter!"_


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys I am SO SORRY for the late chapter!!!! I wrote the first part immediately after I wrote the first chapter, but then the inspiration just fizzled out. This chapter was particular hard to get out and I just decided to upload whatever I have and make a three-shot instead of a two-shot. I'm no medical expert, so sorry in advance for any incorrect usage.
> 
> Please do enjoy! :)

Rocket wouldn't admit it to anyone - okay maybe other than Groot - that the relief he felt he saw two people in space both clearly alive had taken off such a huge weight from his chest that he didn't even know was there. He'd known what Yondu had planned on doing, and yet he wanted nothing more than to curl up into a ball of fur in the corner when he gave the order to take off from the planet. He felt his heart shriveling up and his claws digging into his own palms from where he clenched his hands, looking away from Gamora's twitching body in front of him and ignoring Drax's desperate cries of _"Where's Quill?"_. He'd known that Yondu was planning to sacrifice himself to save Peter, but he didn't know if it was already too late for the both of them. Selfishly, he told Drax - and Kraglin - to take off because he had accepted that he'd be losing two friends today and he didn't want to lose anyone else, not when the Guardians had been the best thing since Groot stuck to him.

So, seeing two battered but alive forms floating in space had removed that stone that was stuck in his chest, and he decided to give the blue idiot a piece of his mind when he stood there grinning like an idiot. He shifted out of the way when Kraglin rushed forward to hug his Captain, turning instead to eye Quill, who - despite looking tired and battered - was also alive and whole. At the angle he stood, he was also consequently the only one who saw Peter's face contort with pain when Drax hugged him, only for the Terran's face to smooth out into a wry grin. Dread creept up Rocket's spine, but he shook it off - Quill was alive and whole, what else could be the problem?

(He studiously ignored the memory of Peter - strung up by his own father, screaming in agony as the blade of light pushed through his chest.)

He intended to punch Quill in the face - because he was not worried thank you very much - after Gamora had moved away. His sensitive ears pricked up at the sound of a low moan. His eyes snapped to Peter, and he realized what was going on a split second before anyone else did.

"Quill!" Rocket shouted, leaping forward just as the man tilted sideways, crashing into Gamora who stumbled a bit before catching herself. He only had one second to realize that everyone had now focused on their esteemed leader.

Rocket didn't think anyone was going to forget the way Peter crumpled to the ground like a puppet whose strings had been cut. He dashed forward, ignoring Gamora's shocked cry of "Peter!", placing an ear to the man's chest. He ignored the way the bones shifted underneath his paws at the slightest touch, focusing intently on listening.

"I don't hear anything," he mumbled, the ice cold dread returning ten-fold.

"What?" Drax questioned, his eyes wide and confused.

Rocket snarled, "I don't hear anything! I can't find a heartbeat!"

Relief drained away in an instant, leaving only horrified silence.

Yondu snapped into action first, "Move!" He shouted, pushing Rocket away, kneeling down beside his charge's - _son's_ \- prone form. "Put 'im on the ground." He growled at Gamora, who shifted Peter who had been half cradled in her arms from her lap to the ground.

"You can't do that!" Rocket hissed, grabbing onto Yondu's arm when the man placed two hands over Peter's unmoving chest, "His ribs are fucked! They shifted when I touched them earlier, if you push down it's gonna snap!"

Yondu yanked his arm away from the furry animal, "Ah got no choice! Someone get me some electricity!" He yelled at the room in general, spurring them into a flurry of motion. The Centaurian hesitated for a heartbeat, then gestured to Gamora, "Pinch 'is nose an' blow air into 'is mouth when ah tell you to."

He didn't wait for the assassin's response and interlocked both his hands, pressing down hard on Peter's chest. Yondu gritted his teeth at the feeling of bones shifting beneath his hands, knowing that he could very well hurt Peter further if he continued but unwilling to let him die all the same. "Don'tchu die on me boy, ya ain't paid me back fer all the times ya stole from me yet."

The blue alien pressed down on his boy's chest, repeating the motion several times, silently counting in his head. After thirty times, Yondu looked up at Gamora, who quickly sealed her mouth over Peter's blowing as hard as she could. His chest inflated once, then deflated, remaining still. Yondu cursed and restarted his movements growling under his breath, "Come on boy, ah didn't raise you ta be a quitter so don'tchu _dare_ quit on me now!"

Rocket could only stare in disbelief as Yondu and Gamora worked together to try to bring Peter back. A stray thought flitted through his mind that Quill would be beyond ecstatic that he'd gotten Gamora to kiss him. Rocket hung back, grabbing onto Groot with shaky paws, feeling utterly useless.

A clatter caught his attention and he turned, surprise overtaking him when Nebula approached with a battery and several wires. Drax and Mantis trailed behind her with sheepish expressions on their faces. Gamora looked up in shock at her sister, who thrust out the items to her before stalking off.

Yondu growled and beckoned Rocket over, "Ah need you ta calibrate that ta give out enough electricity to stun."

Rocket took the device and quickly got to work, knowing that time was of the essence. When he finished, he handed the contraption over to Yondu, who visibly schooled his face into a cold mask before lifting up Peter's shirt. He placed several wires on Peter's chest, ignoring the mottled bruises that decorated his chest. The rest of the Guardians weren't so composed, each of them wincing at their friend's body. Rocket's ears flattened against his skull, wishing he could shoot a few more holes into Ego.

Yondu flicked the switch on. With a whine, the contraption discharged a bolt of electricity. Peter's body arched off the floor, then collapsed. Rocket darted forward to press his ears to his friend's chest.

He shook his head.

Yondu flicked the switch again, face tightening when Peter's body arched off the ground once more. Again, Rocket pressed his ears to Peter's chest, hoping for once that his enhanced hearing could come in handy.

He retreated, allowing Yondu to try again once more.

Peter's body jerked again, and Rocket listened intently.

"I got it!" He shouted, breaking into a grin, "Its slow but I can hear his heart!"

"Is he breathing?" Drax questioned.

Gamora placed a hand in front of Peter's mouth for several seconds. Her shoulders relaxed completely as she nodded. Drax slumped as well, a grateful look on his face. Rocket sat back on his haunches, absently scratching Groot as he eyed Peter's still form, staring at his chest to watch it slowly rise and fall.

Yondu was the only one who remained tense, leaning forward to slide an arm under Peter's neck and knees gently. "He ain't out of ta woods yet, we need ta get ta a hospital."

The Centaurian lifted the Guardian gingerly, Peter's head resting on his shoulder.

Rocket stared at the unusual sight for several more moments before he launched himself away from the cargo hall, clambering up to the cockpit. He found Kraglin already there, the First Mate's face pinched with worry. Rocket punched in the coordinates for Xandar and murmured, "He'll be fine, but we need to get him to Xandar now."

The other man nodded gratefully at him and started up the engine, the two of them working together to bring the ship to Xandar as fast as possible.

* * *

Yondu cradled Peter in a way he hadn't needed to do so in several years. Just in the privacy of his mind, he could admit that he'd seen Peter as his son, and watching his son stop breathing... that was something no parent ever wished to see. He had never been so glad for the time Kraglin forced him to read up on Terran medical procedures 'just in case'. He felt the ship shudder underneath his feet and he knew that they were en route to Xandar where they could give Peter the best medical care. Even though he was breathing now, Yondu couldn't shake off the terror when the rodent had shouted that he couldn't hear a heartbeat. He tightened his grip on Peter, reassured by the slow but steady thud of his heart against his arm.

How had this happened? They'd just been joking with each other not ten minutes ago, relief palpable at having been able to save his son, yet now here he was, carrying the boy he raised knowing that he could lose Peter again. As if hearing his thoughts, Yondu felt Peter's heartbeat stutter, and he stopped, his breath catching in his throat. He didn't move again until he felt the next beat of Peter's heart, his breath rushing out of him in a gust.

Yondu carried Peter to one of the many room's on this ship, settling his boy down on the mattress. He pulled a chair over, intent on keeping an eye on Peter for the whole journey.

* * *

Peter swam in and out of consciousness, familiar voices drifting to his ears but he was out like a light before they could register in his brain. Faint pinpricks of light pierced his darkness, bringing him close to the surface. He shied away from it, unwilling to face the pain he knew was waiting for him. A gentle pressure pressed down on his chest and he flinched, he couldn't take it anymore, he didn't want Ego to take his life anymore, "No more," he murmured, twisting away from the touch. He felt more pressure on his arms and legs, "No more, please, don't - stop, please," he pleaded, twisting more violently. Raised voices rang out around him, and a hand reached out to stroke his head. On a normal day, that would have either soothed him or sent him into an indignant fit.

Now though, with his mind still trapped on Ego - the planet, he only remembered a gentle touch on his head before pain lit his nerves on fire. As it was, when that hand rested upon his brow, he arched his back and screamed.

_"Hold him down!"_

_"He's seizing up!"_

_"Give him a sedative_ now!"

The Guardians had been shoved out of the room mercilessly when Peter started thrashing around. Though they weren't normally pushovers, they allowed themselves to be herded out of the room.

None of them could get over Peter's reaction to Theo normally comforting touch. Out of all of them, the Terran was the most affectionate with his touches. All of them had been wary at first, instincts drilled into them that were only softened by Peter's refusal to let them pull away. He'd gotten injured before, and he always seemed to calm down even further when someone stroked his hair, or even just placed a hand on his. They'd applied the same principle this time, but none of them were prepared for the results. His heart wrenching scream was terrible enough when Gamora's hand barely brushed the surface of his head, the assassin recoiling almost immediately as if her hand had been burnt, but what struck all of them the most were his pleas to stop.

They'd heard many things come out of Peter's mouth, but never before had they heard Peter beg, and yet, here he was, lying on the soft hospital bed delirious with pain, crying out for his tormentor to just stop.  It made all of them wish they'd done more to Ego than just blow him up.

The Guardians knew they were outmatched in this field and stepped back, allowing the healers to take over and bring their cherished leader back to their side.

Rocket's ears twitched continuously, his paws tightening subconsciously around Groot's tiny form. He looked up from where he had been counting the cracks on the floor, looking around surreptitiously. "Where's Yondu?"

Gamora's eyes sharpened as she looked around as well, her lips twisting downwards when she realized that the Ravager Admiral was nowhere to be found. Drax cocked his head, "Perhaps he desired some time to himself. It would be hard for him to see his son in such a state." The warrior intoned solemnly.

Gamora frowned at the designation, but she too had to agree that Yondu - despite all their run ins in the past - had actually saved their asses, and was prepared to sacrifice his life for Peter's. The assassin had listened quietly when Rocket recounted the entire event's happenings from the time they left until Yondu crashed his ship onto Ego's planet. She didn't feel guilty - if she allowed herself to do so, she'd be crushed under the weight of her sins - but she did start reconsidering the relationship between Peter and Yondu, and the man himself. Because despite the constant threats to kill Peter, not once had Yondu done that, and he'd allowed Peter to run free more often not, even after essentially betraying the man. And then Gamora wondered whether it was really betrayal then, of Peter had really hated his life with the Ravagers. She never really took notice until now, but even after becoming a Guardian, Peter never threw away his Ravager coat. If she asked, he'd probably say that it was convenient or that it was still usable, or something along those lines. But Gamora realized now that with the amount of credits they brought in with their missions as Guardians, Peter could very well afford a new coat and then some. He never took off the flame insignia either, always picking at it absently.

The cybernetic assassin sighed deeply. Family was new to her, and it seemed that it was a time of new discoveries for her. She stilled at the thought of Nebula. Sighing again, she flicked her eyes to the door where she knew Peter lay behind. She couldn't hear anymore shouting, and she couldn't stand to wait around anymore feeling utterly useless. Pushing herself off the wall, she told Drax and Rocket, "I'm going to find Nebula, let me know if there're any changes."

It was a testament to how much they'd grown as a family and as individuals that the volatile raccoon didn't do more than nod before returning to staring blankly at Groot, while Drax gave her a solemn nod, a knowing glint in his eyes.

She stalked away in search of her other family.

Rocket's ears twitched seconds before the healers came out, which was why Drax had immediately straightened up and was looking attentively at the healer when zhe came out of the room. The healer was momentarily taken aback by the intensity of the stare, but recovered quickly enough to answer the unspoken question, chancing a nervous glance at the raccoon and the gigantic gun slung on his back.

"The patient is stabilized. We have sedated him for now in order to proceed with the medical procedures but apart from needing rest for his fractures and bruises to heal, there is nothing else that we found."

Rocket sneered, "And the seizure? Why the fuck did that happen for no reason?"

The healer shrugged uncomfortably, "The seizure occurred after your... friend touched him -"

"So you are stating that it is Gamora's fault?" Drax rumbled threateningly.

The healer gulped and shook his head rapidly, back pedaling as far as he could, "No don't get me wrong - I mean that maybe he reacted to that in the wrong way to her touch. Perhaps he still thinks he is in danger, which could have caused his reaction." The healer slowly lowered his hands, "Even with Xandar's medical advancements, we are not familiar with Terran biology and psychology here, I cannot say for sure what caused the seizure but I can tell you that I can find no other physical damages apart from the ones we have already examined."

The three Guardians looked at each other.

"I am Groot!"

Rocket sighed, "He says, 'can we see him?'"

The healer nodded, "You may enter, but please do remain silent. He may be sedated but I do not want my patient disturbed."

After extracting a grudging nod from the three, the healer left them to enter the room, promising to come and check back in a few hours.

The three remaining Guardians quietly took their places around the hospital bed, setting themselves up for a long vigil by the side of their team mate and family member.

* * *

Kraglin wanted to punch something.

He stalked down the hallways of the ship, searching for his wayward captain. The Centaurian had disappeared the moment they reached Xandar, and in the madness that followed, nobody but the First Mate realized that the blue alien had vanished. Kraglin grumbled underneath his breath once more, wishing that he knew what Yondu was thinking sometimes. The Captain never said anything, but Kraglin was feeling guilty as hell. Things had spiraled out of control, and instead of having their much needed talk, they'd needed to save Quill from a megalomaniac which definitely put unnecessary thoughts on a back burner. But with the quietness settling down around him now that they'd reached Xandar, Kraglin's guilt just came back tenfold.

He might not have shot Yondu in the head, or killed his friends, but their blood was on his hand all the same. He had been the one to speak up in the first place, to express the displeasure that everyone had been feeling but that none had dared to voice. He was the First Mate and the Captain's closest confidante.

And he'd let a moment of jealousy ruin everything.

Because there was no denying it. He was jealous of Peter. Peter, who was a Terran they'd picked up, a job they were meant to do. The boy wasn't meant to be anything but cargo, and yet, somewhere, the rules changed. When Yondu had declared that he was keeping the boy, citing the kid's size and tendency to squeeze into various nooks and crannies of the ship to escape them, everyone, Kraglin included, had nodded their assent, realizations flooding their minds. Each and every time Peter did something that Yondu would have killed a Ravager for, the boy got let off.

Sure, he did get punished, and it didn't sit right with Kraglin that a youngling should be punished so severely, especially since Terrans aged differently from the rest of them. For all they knew, Peter could have been their equivalent of an infant.

It wasn't until the orb incident that Kraglin felt the slightest stirrings in his heart. He'd attributed that to the fact that Yondu - of all people - had nearly killed Peter once and for all, the arrow digging into the Terran's throat. He didn't think much of it until he stood across from his Captain, looking straight at the man when he declared that they weren't going to take down the Guardians of the Galaxy. The words had come up then, slipping past his lips before he could stop them.

He'd felt good, happy even, when those words left his chest, as if a huge stone had been removed. He'd stared his Captain down, watching as the Centaurian's eyes dimmed slightly and his lips turned downwards.

He didn't realize the look for the disappointment that it stood for.

And after that, all Kraglin could do was watch in horror as things spiraled rapidly out of his control. Taserface had barged in and snatched the Captain's chair for himself, and all Kraglin could do was remain hidden in the background, clamping down on the urge to barf as they threw his friends out the airlock one by one.

Waiting for them to finish Ego (a freaking Celestial what the hell?) off had left him with some time to think, and when all the Guardians came back except for Yondu and Peter, he squeezed his eyes shut and powered the ship on Rocket's command, taking them out into space. He knew then, that only one person would survive, and that it sure as hell wasnt going to be Yondu. He knew that his Captain and friend would sacrifice his own life ten times over for the kid he'd grown attached to, and he tried not to let that show on his face. The knowledge that he'd never get to apologize for what he did nearly crushed him, but he had a job to do, and he would get the Guardians out of this sector of the galaxy even if he had to die.

And then of course, the miraculous had happened. Not only had Peter survived - looking like he'd been through hell and back - but Yondu had too. Kraglin waited until Rocket had moved out of the way before he'd launched himself at his Captain. He wanted so badly to apologize but the words refused to get out of his throat.

Despite the jealousy that burned in his chest, Kraglin could admit to himself that the boy had grown on him too, had grown on all of the Ravagers who had been there when the kid had arrived, and who had watched him grow from a cowardly twerp to a man worthy of the title Ravager. Watching the kid - who was no longer a kid - collapse like a puppet whose strings were snapped was nothing short of terrifying. Peter had been in his fair share of trouble, some nearly taking his life as well. But each of those incidents had an injury they could tend to, a wound they could bandage and watch as it closed over. This time, there was no warning, no wound, no physical scar - Peter's heart just stopped.

Kraglin didn't know what happened on that planet, but from the looks on the Guardians' faces, something horrifying had clearly happened down there. 

* * *

 

The Captain in question was in the room where he'd put Peter after they revived him. He stared at nothing in particular, sitting on the bed, leaning against the wall with his leg propped up on the mattress, an arm slung over the knee. His mind was cast far away, back to that clearing where everything went wrong. He knew he went easy on Peter, and he'd been forced to confront those thoughts before, not only when the Ravagers demanded for Peter's head but also when Peter himself got caught in a scuffle that left him hanging onto dear life by a thread. And yet, this time was different. This time, it hadn't been some megalomaniac trying to take over the universe. It wasn't some trap laid out for the Ravagers that Peter had fallen into.

It was his father coldly and clinically killing his son.

Yondu's fist clenched.

He had no children of his own - the life of a Ravager didn't allow that - and even as morally skewed as he was, he knew how fucked up it was to have children for the sole purpose of sustaining your own life. Yondu would like to say that if any of the Ravagers had known what Ego had been doing, they'd have been disgusted too. But he couldn't say that with full confidence. What good people that had been in his crew were now floating debris in space, being torn apart by the vacuum bit by bit, the rest of the crew had died via yakka arrow. The Centaurian knocked his head back against the wall, closing his eyes. 

What made Peter so different? What set him apart from the rest of the children that Yondu had delivered to Ego even after knowing what he did to them?

He likes to think it's when the boy managed to steal the priceless gems from the crevice of some forsaken planet for the Ravagers (that haul had kept their stomachs full for a long time), nearly losing his arm in the process.

In reality, he's pretty sure that it's when Peter looks up at him - _really_ looks him in the eye - for the first time to thank him when he gave the boy back his music player.

Yondu fished out the Zune from his coat, a palyer he had acquired from one of his raids, flipping the sleek device between his fingers nimbly. He had planned on giving that to Peter for the kid's birthday, but now he wasn't even sure if the kid would even _survive._  

Yondu sighed.

In the privacy of his mind, he admitted to himself that he was already too attached which was why he could not - _would not_ \- sit by a hospital bed watching Peter struggle to stay alive.

He couldn't do that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a review on your way out!

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a review on your way out!


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